The Right Decision, Twice

How two very different decisions both turned out to be right

I’m four days post-op as I write this. On May 28, 2026, I underwent surgery to remove my remaining breast tissue and implants and receive an aesthetic flat closure—my fourth breast surgery in just over four years.

It has brought into focus something I’ve been slowly learning throughout this process: the right decision for one season of life doesn’t have to be the right decision forever. Sometimes two very different choices can both be exactly right for who you are at the time.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 38, reconstruction felt like the obvious choice. My focus was on getting through treatment, reducing my risk of recurrence, and finding some sense of normalcy on the other side of a life-changing diagnosis. I moved forward without giving much thought to what other possibilities might exist.

Over the next several years, I moved through the many stages of breast reconstruction: tissue expanders, fills, implants, fat grafting, revisions, implant downsizing, laser treatments, lymphatic drainage, and all the appointments and decisions that came with them.

At the time, it gave me something I desperately needed after cancer—a path forward.

Over time, though, my priorities shifted. I grew tired of knowing there would likely always be another decision waiting around the corner—another surgery, another revision, another option to consider. I missed my original breasts. Despite my best efforts, I never really felt connected to my implants.

I spent years trying to make reconstruction feel like home.

But it never quite did.

I found myself wanting fewer layers between me and my body, not more. Gradually, the question shifted from “How do I improve my reconstruction?” to “Do I want reconstruction at all?”

The answer wasn’t immediate. I followed every thread I could find, joining support groups, talking to other women, researching alternate procedures, and exploring possibilities.

I spent years gathering information, but I was also gathering something harder to name: a clearer understanding of myself.

I journaled often and changed my mind more than once. When I finally decided to pursue aesthetic flat closure, the decision felt less dramatic than I expected.

It felt settled.

Now, a few days into recovery, my chest is deeply tender and swollen. Between the burning sensation, electric nerve zaps, and tenderness, I feel like I’ve been transported back to those first weeks after my double mastectomy. I’d forgotten what this part felt like.

It’s hitting me all at once.

I had a good cry about losing my breasts for a second time. Apparently being confident in a decision doesn’t exempt you from grieving it.

Huff let me get it all out, then gently reminded me why I made this choice in the first place.

Brought me right back to center.

As the emotions settled, another realization followed.

Reading the operative report gave me a new appreciation for everything my body has carried over the past four years. What I assumed would be a relatively straightforward procedure was far more complex because of the scar tissue left behind by multiple surgeries.

It was a reminder that our bodies keep a record of where we’ve been.

I’m incredibly grateful for my surgeon, Dr. Champaneria, whose skill and attention to detail helped bring this chapter to a close.

As uncomfortable and humbling as recovery can be at times, I feel surprisingly at peace with where I’ve landed. Not because reconstruction was wrong, and not because aesthetic flat closure is better. They’re simply different decisions made at different points in my life.

One thing I like about getting older is that I’ve become better at listening to myself. Less concerned with what I think I should want, and more interested in what actually feels right.

Reconstruction was the right decision for me in 2021.

Aesthetic flat closure was the right decision for me in 2026.

For me, both can be true.